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The Bellows > What is my life's purpose?

26 May 2008

What is your life’s purpose? Who knows? Only Life Knows Itself. For sure, you will never find it. The very fact that you are reading this writing means that Life is finding you. Your life’s purpose finds you. Life finds you and does ITS purpose, never yours. At most, you are along for the ride.

Life has no purpose. If Life had a purpose, that would be a motive, an arrival point, a destiny, a destination; all that is time. Therefore, the Timeless has no purpose. Infinity is Infinite. Yet when Life finds you, it APPEARS as a “purpose”. But notice now, it is LIFE’s PURPOSE. Not “yours”. No room here for me and thee – only room for thee. You can not “think” of it because if you can it is not NEW. Unknowing comes first. Always.

Yes, somewhere (in some classes or written in a monthly letter) is a statement, “Unknowing is true knowing”. Now who among us is truly comfortable with “not knowing”? Yet Truth says, “I Am the Comforter” and not one word about knowledge is the comforter. As a matter of fact, the best REST comes from deep dreamless sleep. Isn’t that true? If you are extremely alert, you will see that you are comfortable “knowing” only because such gives temporary RELIEF from the wanting, incessantly bothersome thinking-human-mind. So it was not the thing wanted or the answer that brought happiness or comfort was it? No, it was that the mind stopped pestering you – the “want” was satisfied.

You must become comfortable with “not knowing”. And that also includes noticing how daily you may be describing something, attempting to make a point, and the FEELING of it takes over as you so laboriously “re-live” the past moment of the feeling of it – this is “engraving”. As the winds of Spirit blow over those “engravings”, they are "seemingly" ensnared, caught, further encrypted. This is what good “stories” are made of: details. “De tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury"; full of feeling, full of memory, good or bad. In the end, signifying – as Shakespeare had what’s-his-face say – “NOTHING”. As we notice how we tell tales with great relish, gusto, pride, or fear, we are in the very epicenter of the process of de-hypnotizing ourselves. All “human knowing” is self-hypnosis.

The irritation is noticing how we tell a “story” with BELIEF. This makes us shift uncomfortably in our tightly held positions. We like that concept or we hate it and it IS ”history”, a high story: a tall tale that once we have repeated it long enough, it is repeated without thought, but with MUCH “feeling”.

To doubt these “graven images” is one of the first steps toward “de-hypnotization” and we feel at first very “boring”, non-engaging – mostly to ourselves. We are no longer the life of the party – inside or out. We wither on the vine; our heads are plucked off, royally pruned as it were. We are almost shy and are taken in some circles to be dull! We are no longer left-brained. It is so quiet in there! Except for the incessant hum of Being.

Sometimes the gripping of human thought is very strong, though, and we feel we have “lost it”. We call someone, someone who is not so willing to confirm our onslaught of temporary insanity. That is, if we are fortunate enough to know someone – another swan playing an ugly duckling perhaps? (Notice that a swan can play an ugly duckling but an ugly duckling cannot play a Swan? An ugly duckling is not playing.) Actually there are only Swans. But I digress.

Sometimes, we feel happier alone because we don’t have to put on a show of chatter nor give much attention to that which no longer holds it. Our attention has been redirected inward and much of our agony comes from having to forcibly direct it outwards to an “out there” we are no longer sure of – if indeed we ever were.

Patience with our friends and family is the order of the day, as many realizations are our answers for living. The beauty of this is that, as we cling to Truth as we know how, they will be removed from our experience – freeing all. Or some adjustment will be made, the likes of which we could never have dreamed nor could make happen “of ourselves”. Jesus’ statement “I of myself can do nothing; the God within Me, He doeth the works” is understood and more fully lived. To say to an American, for instance, that “I of myself” can do nothing is unacceptable, galling, defeatist in nature and met with immediate rejection.

But it is said that Jesus was referring to the personal, or to man’s “bantam rooster” nature – the vanity of man. Man as “man”, says scripture, is nothing but vanity.

We can’t MAKE ourselves different than we are, not of ourselves. Old habits fall away – not all as we would like and not the way we would like always. We are like eunuchs when it comes to old habits: likes and dislikes. We can “re-do” or redecorate. But we are totally helpless when it comes to birthing a new creature. That comes only by Grace, from before or beyond your very best thinking! Jesus’ wonderful saying that humanly we are like unto “whited sepulchers, beautiful on the outside, but inside full of dead men’s bones” comes alive to you. Well, the package is the same from the outside for a time, but now, pretty empty inside. All the “dead men’s bones” are dissolving there, emptying out, and the stench is rough at first.

Fortunate is he or she who finds enough like-minded souls to help make the rough places not so rough and the pleasant places not so pleasant. You are being honed, pushed and pulled, into a brand new creature, a light that lights untold and even unknown nooks and crannies – global ones! A full three-sixty: Metanoia. A revolution is occurring. All that you attempt will have the fragrance of the ever-new and fresh. Nothing will be a mere human rehash from the past. And you will innocently appreciate it more than anyone – as if someone else did it! A word of extreme caution here: you must be patient with this new way… this not-knowing. Anything from a golf game to cooking to physics to business will bear the touch of this new and living Beingness.

Awareness, to BE Awareness, must be and is Choiceless. There is really no choice to not be – that is impossible. Being Is. Existence exists and has no choice in the matter. No matter your human achievements and triumphs, they are all bland in the Elixir of this Longing. It seems to come then leave, again and again.

As one holds to what IS, the paradox of Truth shows itself. Being Being the Only One, there is nothing to fix, yet you appear to fix. Omnipresence does not come and go, yet “you” appear to do so. Where I am, ONLY I am, yet there appear to be two. It is pure Grace that places our “hand to the plow” and never lets us go – be it pleasant or difficult. We don’t place our hand there, it is placed.

And those of you reading these words with rapt attention know this beyond any doubt. Relax. The burden is not yours personally. Again I say, Relax. Allow Laughter to overtake you as you accept change. Resistance is too hard. Desperately clinging to the old is too painful. You are actually being taken toward everything you ever needed. Few know. Too Few know the simultaneous beatitude of divine humility – the pathless path, the Now of unknowing, the only knowing One, with no “me” beside, saith the Lord of Hosts.

All Love,