In the seeming i have been feeling more and more empty, like a shell, with no substance. It is strange because before when this feeling would arise i would fear it and so repress it. Instead I have been welcoming it...and sometimes it will vanish there and then and other times it will linger. But either way i do not mind.
I used to think that freedom was a state of mind or that it was the choice to do something or not... So that if you were behind bars or in a downward spiral of debt....etc you were bound. This IS not the case, nor will it ever be. Freedom is beyond walls, laws and regulations. Beyond the seen, beyond the perceived. It is MY Nature and IS so effortlessly. i have little money in wallet, i am hungry and i have a few days to find a new place to live. But I don't mind. God is the only mover and shaker. If i am supposed to appear hungry, i will be. it is merely an illusion with no consequence or threat.
Food, money and a roof over your head are all material possessions with material consequences. I AM Non Physical. I Am not of this world. These things that are of this world are powerless. My Nature is Abundance, as it is My very Nature is it effortless.
It came to me that the illusion is like a mirage, that sometimes appears to stranded people in the desert. Upon seeing it most people would rush forward with their hands outstretched, unwitting trying to grab at nothingness. But those who are savvy know that it is an illusion, and merely walk on.
What also didn't matter was what type of person i am, whether it is the one who runs with his hands outstretched towards the mirage, or the one who walks on or even the one who gives up. All persona's are an illusion.
Is this so?
Yes, this is so. When we question and ponder and consider relentlessly during periods of restlessness, of confusion, of emotional quagmires, we are inviting the piercing perception that IS Awareness. It is not comfortable and the more the questioning and pondering the more the burn, but it is this very flame of Awareness, paradoxically that increases as our "crisis" increases that burns away the intellect so that we have that chance of DIRECT KNOWING----that is, knowing directly WITHOUT the dark glass of intellect.
It is not "figured out" with more and better thinking, but more and more "thinking" about Truth almost desperately until one is "spent" into a "not knowing" WILL or certainly MAY open a door so to speak that ushers in Direct Knowledge or "thinking WITHOUT the intellect" as my friend Bill wrote.
During these times, DO NOT STOP the pondering, the asking inside and stay in touch with me for now. The heat is on----don't try and dampen it. You just delay if you do. Alchemy is happening. Don't miss this.